Will you press the button?

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 10/17/2016 at 19:14 • Filed to: None

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You can have any car you’d like for free with unlimited parts to keep it running... but you now have permanent Jeff Lynn hair for the rest of your life and you can’t cover it.

Spridget > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:17

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Hell yeah

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:18

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Of course. That hair is fabulous

TheHondaBro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:19

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I already have that hair, so where is my LFA?

Master Cylinder > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:20

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Wait, so what’s the downside?

WilliamsSW > Master Cylinder 10/17/2016 at 19:21

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Downside must be that you only get one car?

Honeybunchesofgoats > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:21

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My solution is to choose a car that no one would be able to take their eyes off of.

If someone did mention my hair, I’d drop a gear and speed away.

KirkyV > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:23

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Okay, so not only am I getting the car of my dreams and a fabulous hair cut, but also I’m guaranteed to never feel the sting of male pattern baldness?

Fuck, this is the deal of a lifetime.

interstate366, now In The Industry > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:23

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My hair looks like kinda that when it gets long anyway. Pushing the button just means my hairline never recedes, right?

Can I add things that make sure the car never, ever gets stolen? If so, one NSX-R, please. Otherwise, one 996TT, please.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Honeybunchesofgoats 10/17/2016 at 19:29

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spray paint your hair white and you could probably get onto the track without a helmet.

Honeybunchesofgoats > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:32

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I like where you’re going with this, but actually, I’d get a helmet that looked like Steve McQueen’s hair. No one is going to ask maybe-ghost-maybe-zombie Steve McQueen to wear a helmet when he shows up to track day in an XKSS.

RallyWrench > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:38

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Done.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:41

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Aston Martin Vantage Le Mans. Why?

Wha-bam! Two superchargers!

Stapleface > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:47

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Do I have to work on it? Or will the unlimited parts come with a skilled mechanic? If so, I’ll take a Jag XJ220. After all, I’m not the one who has to keep it running.

As for the hair, eh , I’ll just wear a hat.

LongbowMkII > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 19:48

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Not a problem. Nobody would look in the middle seat.

Plus that hair is ironically cool.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > TheHondaBro 10/17/2016 at 20:01

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You win!

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 20:02

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bring on helmet hair

misfitmascots > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/17/2016 at 21:29

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I’ll take those sweet as sunglasses too.